Frustration against other Christians.

The title of this blog may already sound self-righteous to some and maybe to an extent there is a hint of some self-righteousness, but let me explain my heart. When I get mad at other Christians who knowingly and willingly and carelessly give into sin and act like it’s “no big deal”, that concerns me. Yes, let’s examine the plank in my eye. I know I have sin and my sin is a constant battle, but it bothers me. It saddens my heart to know how sinful I am and when I learn from my mistakes… I make them again. I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite right now because like I said, my heart is not there and I’m not judging these other Christians… but my heart breaks for them. 

My favorite verse of all time is James 1:22-25Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

We remember that we’re Christians at church on Sundays, at Bible studies throughout the week, around Christian friends, or even family members. That light switch can be easily be turned off when we fit God in a box and only use Him as needed, especially in certain crisis’. Our faith needs to speak for itself… James 2:14-18 says “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

It goes back to the James 1 Scripture I gave, we deceive ourselves so easily. Sadly, I don’t think some Christians realize they are being deceived and that this deception comes from Satan. The fact they have no clue either shows a hardened heart or they’ve given into the lie that God is satisfied with their sin, therefore abusing His grace. Satan likes it when we pat ourselves on the back after feeling convicted at church, but where’s the action accompanied by that conviction? 

Sin always comes back as a reflection of a SELFISH heart. We act like we’red owed something when in fact we’re owed NOTHING. God doesn’t need to give or do anything for you. Pardon my language, but if you’re a little butt-hurt because something doesn’t go your way… get over yourself. God is working at something deeper in your heart and life and if you can’t face that, you need to realize you are better with God than without Him. We act like such babies sometimes. 

I just needed to vent because a simple Facebook status would not suffice… plus I feel that here I have a larger audience who cares for my opinion on these things. Am I the only one who gets frustrated at this stuff? Let me reiterate the fact I know I am just as messed up, we all need accountability. I’m not saying I’m a better person or Christian because my works mean nothing to Jesus – He paid it all on the cross and I cannot add to that or earn it. 

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A good cry.

Never underestimate the power of a good cry. I don’t know about you, but if I’m having a bad day or a bad week I can sense an emotional breakdown rearing it’s ugly head. Don’t get me wrong… I think they have a beautiful ending of relief, it’s just intense. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. With sore eyes and a stuffy nose, I write this at 1 in the morning and just having had poured my heart out to God.

I don’t know where I would be without my faith in Jesus Christ. He is my rock and my shelter that I take refuge in. I get so upset about the things going on in my life (health wise) but I know deep down it’s all a part of His plan. A plan I have very little hope in seeing sometimes. His ways are not our ways. I don’t want to be so hung up on earthly things that I neglect the eternal and my mission while I’m here on this earth.

God knows the frailty of our human bodies and spirits, He gets it. He doesn’t want us to suck it up and suppress our feelings. “Oh I have Jesus so I should be happy no matter what!” I don’t think so. God is glorified when we give up our control, when we let our face get red and ugly from sobbing so many tears. I see opportunity in being broken, I see how God is using his chisel to chip back the pieces of myself that cling to things other than Him for comfort or for happiness.

“Be still and know that I am God…” – Psalm 46:10

 

Here lately my mind has just been bombarded with health issues and doctor appointments, but days like today make me feel renewed. I’m guilty for not never going outdoors much, but I’m taking advantage of the gazebo my dad just bought for the backyard and sitting under it most times doing nothing. Today I’m with my laptop while the wind tousles my bangs in front of my face trying to glare into the already hard-to-see-computer screen. It’s peaceful out here. Any time I look out into nature, the sky, trees, the sound of birds chirping… it just takes me back to an appreciation of God’s creation. He’s so big and so thoughtful about everything He created, everything has its own function in life. It’s the harmony of it all that makes it so beautiful. Our God is a God of details, this God knows the number of hairs on our head (even when it’s thinning). He tells the wind where to blow, isn’t that amazing? Nothing surprises God.

Sometimes we wonder how God can help our chaotic lives, but if He can keep the world in motion, I’m pretty sure He has us when the doctor tells us bad news or no news at all – meaning more doctor appointments and money if the pain is still there. 

I’m supposed to be getting ready right now because I have a long day ahead of me, but I just wanted to write this blog real quick to encourage people who never take quiet time to themselves. Be alone. Be quiet. Be still. Make time to pray and clear your head of the junk you’ve been thinking about all week. Don’t wait until you’ve had a nervous breakdown to be alone in your room crying with your face to the floor. Do we need those times? Yes, once in awhile, but if you find yourself doing it more often than not… Be still and know He is God :)!

On a lighter note, I want to share a picture that made me laugh today. I hope it makes you LOL too hehe… ❤

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Hey girl, there’s freedom in Christ.

love

 

 

 

I thought I’d share my Facebook status with you this morning since it’s a bit lengthy and blog worthy haha… I hope this encourages someone today.

Sometimes being realistic about things makes you cynical. As a Christian woman I want to focus on the truth or ‘what’s really real’ because there’s a ‘justice’ there. While trying to look through this lens of ‘truth’ I tend to ignore the lens of grace, God’s grace. His grace is sufficient in ALL things and in ALL people.

I don’t even know if this makes any sense, but I woke up this morning with a hateful attitude and I didn’t feel like keeping that attitude with me all day… so I took time to pray. It’s SOOOO easy to stare at someone else’s sin and ignore our own. Judging people by our own scale of righteousness only condemns us, not them.

I think this post is more towards women this morning and me just wanting to encourage you that your opinions of something or someone is NOT worth it if it makes you a prisoner to being miserable. Before I was saved, if I got mad about something I took pride in being a B word. In fact, I’d call myself that quite often because I felt empowered not to deal with anyone’s crap. However… we’re kidding ourselves because the B word mentality is just us building up a wall to not get hurt by anyone in this world. The thing is we do care about things more than we’ll admit to. We have a lot of emotions and quite frankly don’t know the first thing about handling them. Whether you’re a Christian or not, I just want to remind you there is FREEDOM in Christ. He takes those thoughts we don’t know what to do with and renews them so we can see things from God’s perspective. When we look through the lenses of grace and love, we’re not defeated or weakened, we’re doing the hard thing that NO ONE wants to do.

Seriously, we’ve all been here and maybe some of us are here today.

Feeling lonely

I’m writing a blog from my phone for the first time, so I hope I don’t have too many typos. Darn auto-correct, you come in handy when I’m lazy, but boy do you know how to butcher a serious sentence, haha.

I’ve been trying to think of ways to get involved with a community of believers because at our current church me and my husband are the 20 some year olds there. The majority is either under 10 years old or 50+. Sure, we can visit a church for their young adult ministry, but I’m not looking to get lost in the crowd. It seems like that’s the case for most churches today and how we’ve got in the habit of keeping to ourselves.

I can guarantee this is just a season God is trying to walk me through, but I go back to getting frustrated and tired of waiting this out. I get I should learn contentment and I have for the most part… it’s still a struggle though.

Jefferson Bethke tweeted Timothy Keller the other day and asked him what one piece of advice he could give our generation:

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So maybe I’m not crazy? I’ve debated asking if the young ladies I tried to meet up with before would like to give our study another try… but with a different attempt. Sometimes things don’t go the way you plan and you have to work your way around that. I’ve got to learn that it’s okay if something doesn’t go by the book. I’ve had to learn that through teaching the children and youth at our church.

If anyone can comment below on how they got their church groups to get together and how they worked through schedules, please let me know. I need all the advice I can get.

Stress and trusting in God.

Pray More

I talked to my sister not long ago about this and how we say we have faith, but our attitudes express otherwise. You can pray every day, read your Bible, and say “Yes Jesus, I trust Your will for my life!” but then when you come back to reality you start snapping at people. Whenever I start being mean and having an ‘attitude’ it’s because I’m stressed out and worried about a million things. It’s like being in a constant state of being ‘unnerved’. At this point of my mindset, my faith is circumstantial because if something rubs me the wrong way I’m going to fly off my wagon (whatever that means LOL! – I was born in a country household).

I will admit I can be a bit OCD about things, if even one or two things are out-of-place in the house, I need to clean them, right then, right now. The same thing applies when I have a to-do list. In the next few weeks I have so much stuff going on and all I can think of “Is everything going to be okay?” I get anxious about it. I think where I’m trying to get healthy, now adding a bunch of dental work on top of that, and now doing a million things at my church, I feel overwhelmed. If I’m being honest, my stress, although it’s a sin in and of itself, turns into an even bigger sin. I start nitpicking at things and I’m not content. I have to constantly apologize for things, just ask my husband and he will tell you. I don’t like being like that and I don’t know about you, but I feel alone when things start piling up. That I need to ‘carry this burden’. I can’t expect anyone else to help. I’m so quick to do my freak out dance that I forget I have God who helps me carry those burdens. I’m not meant to do it on my own. I also need to realize that I need to go to my husband more often because when I told him the things laying on my heart yesterday I just wept on his shoulder. He reassured me everything was going to be okay and I believed him. God’s Word reassures us that everything is going to be okay too and we need to believe that as well. We need to take God’s Word for face value.

No wonder some of us have anxiety, we try handling things that are out of our control. I caught myself yesterday just needing to take a break and breathe. I could feel my chest getting tightened up it was that bad. I wonder how many times I’m going to have to learn this lesson from God. Trust me girlfriend or you guys out there, when you think you’ve got your walk with God under control and you have it down to a T, you don’t. Our faith can be shaken, but let’s not be moved. At the end of the day, all we have is the Savior. When everything falls apart, when everyone fails you, God will still be on His throne in His perfect righteousness. We have to stop looking down and at our situations and look up – our hope should be in heaven. If you feel like you’re playing ‘catch up’ in life, you’re not the only one. I’m there too and I feel like I’m always behind in this world that is always moving forward.

It just dawned on me now that when I had told my sister I had been stressing, she reminded me my worth was in Christ. I thought to myself at the time… “Okay, well what does that have to do with stress?” It has everything to do with it, because the things we stress out about is the things we usually find our worth or value in. We find success in these things going well, whether it’s a relationship or job, we worry about the status – where is it going? We go back to being circumstantial. If you lose your job, if they cut your hours back, if your relationship is failing, if you have no friends, if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, it’s okay. You know why? Because our worth isn’t in those things. Those things change. I’m preaching to myself here and I’m crying as I type this because I always need to be reminded of these truths.

If you need prayer for anything, please comment below. I will leave this blog with a prayer that whoever reads this will find hope again if that’s what you needed today. May God bless you for His glory and remember to trust in Him.

Losing weight.

Strong

Before I start explaining myself, I’ll just re-post my Facebook status from this morning: “I’m not in any way bragging on myself, but my thyroid condition caused me to gain 30 lbs in like 2 years. Since being on medication last year I had dropped 10lbs, since I got my blood tests back I’ve been eating healthier and with some light walking, I’m 8 ounces a way from losing another 10 and its only been 2 months. So as of last year I’ve lost 20lbs. It may not seem like a lot to some people, but it means a lot to me. I’m doing it the slow healthy way, trying to make a lifestyle change and not “diet”. I want this to last and to most importantly make me healthier. I could care less about being skinny, I’ve got a wonderful husband who loves me and The Lord who thinks I’m beautiful no matter what. My worth is not in numbers on a scale or what my pants size is. Praying for humbleness ❤ . Thank you God!!”

If you’ve ever struggled with weight, whether it’s due to a health issue or that’s just always how it’s always been for you, I’ve been on both sides. I grew up always struggling with my weight until I got into high school, then I lost it all. I was by no means “skinny” but I was at my smallest weight and being 5’10 tall helped too. I considered myself average, but my teenage insecure self would pick apart her looks. I look back now and wonder why I was never content with myself. Maybe it’s because when you’re in high school you’re constantly around girls to compare yourself to. Now that I’m married and have the Lord, I loved myself more than ever even at my highest weight. I was content for the most part, that was until it effected my health. Thyroids can already work a wonder on your health, but the weight it brought with it didn’t help either. Two months ago after I got my test results back from my blood work I had that harsh realization that something needed to change.

Losing weight is not just a physical thing, but a mental one as well. It’s not easy. Quite frankly it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do because I’m having to reprogram my mind to know what’s a healthy portion. I’ve lost almost 10 lbs on my own besides what the medication has already helped with, but I still have a long way to go. I told myself when I lose 25lbs I’m going to purchase my first Coach purse. Then after I lose another 25 I want to get all new clothes and hopefully plan to have children. It’s going to be a process, I didn’t put on the weight overnight and it won’t go away overnight either.

Some of the things I’ve done so far to lose weight:

– Drink only water (it was hard at first but now the desire to have other things is gone)

– If I have a craving, then I’ll eat it or drink it. My doctor said the worst thing you can do is deprive yourself because you’ll resent eating better.

– Walk at least 1-3 days a week for 25 minutes to 30 minutes

– Eating Cheerios for breakfast (the multi-grain is my favorite)

– Eating only whole-wheat or multi-grain bread

– Staying away from fried foods (esp. french fries, fried chicken)

– Trying to not eat things with more than 30% fat calories

– Actually portioning my food

– Eating more fruits and vegetables, especially at buffets

– Take vitamins (which we should all do because in all of our diets, we’re not getting enough vitamins like we should be)

^^ Every little bit helps. I’m sure I’ll be adding to the list over time, I still haven’t given up my mayonnaise lol. That will be a hard one, I’ve tried the reduced fat and it’s sickening to me. Either way, you don’t have to deprive yourself to be healthier. If you put your mind to something and pray about it, you can do it. I definitely give glory to God because I couldn’t do this in my own strength. So thank you Lord!