Your worth.

In a world flooded with advertisements, music, newspapers, television, movies, radio, what have you… we’re constantly being told what a person of any kind of worth looks like. Popularity, wealth, success, relationships, friendships, beauty – these are all things that define us by the world on the radar of worth. Striving to be all of these can wear a person out, not just physically but emotionally. Who can be all of these things or even one of them? What about times in our life where we have nothing going for us? What are we worth? When depression seeps in we either pull the trigger, develop an addiction to a drug, or become a hoarder.

You get my point. We run from our feelings by tapping into other things that consume our time. Why is it that we let things that CONSTANTLY change in our lives define who we are as a person? Or what about our happiness? Sounds circumstantial. You can only muster up ‘looking on the bright side of things’ for so long till you start to question things. For the woman who hasn’t found a man yet, will you be happy when you get married? What about when things start to suck and he disappoints you because he’s human? Someone might say that’s time for a divorce, but to me, that’s just another way of running from a problem that’s a lot deeper.

I love the fact that people are now standing up for their weaknesses and flaws. Examples: It’s okay to NOT be a size 2; having a disease doesn’t define one’s strength. Those are good things to realize and bring awareness to. But what about things that are not so good? I feel like people take this and go 10 steps deeper and start taking perversity and justifying it. Having an identity crisis means it’s okay for a man to start wearing women’s clothing. Maybe you don’t feel like anyone relates to you, so you marry a chicken. The Bible even talks about how we trade wisdom for foolishness.

Dude read Romans 1, it tells us how mankind became corrupted verse 1:25 says They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” This isn’t a gay bashing blog, it’s about a deeper problem. Our sin. Before I get too off track, the point I’m trying to make is that we take the weird or flawed things about ourselves and use them to boost our ego. We’re taking the lemons from this life and making lemonade. That can be a good thing but also deadly. You could either be sipping something sweet or poison. See we can either be self-centered morbidly or be arrogant and think the sun shines out of our butts. Either way we’re constantly putting the focus back on ourselves.

I love seeing the beauty in things and in people, but don’t be the type of person to worship it. True beauty comes from knowing who you are in the Creator. That your worth and foundation for happiness and purpose in this life is based on the cross where Jesus died. That’s where all of God’s wrath and love poured out all at the same time. Bottom line, this world brings attention to flaws and can either make you arrogant or completely insecure. When you get the focus off yourself and look at your flaws for what they are and your strengths… you see them in a different light. I see grace and an area to grow when God exposes my weaknesses to me. I don’t want to run from my problems anymore. I have a God that is willing to carry me through them. He knows we can’t do it on our own.

Don’t be so prideful to think that if God really loved you, He would accept the way you are and you wouldn’t have to change. Coming to Christ means denying yourself. People paint Christianity as God being okay with our sin, that He requires little or no committment from us, that God is only there to make us happy. If you read in the New Testament, Paul was constantly in prison. Are you telling me he missed the picture? Following Jesus is not easy, but best believe if He calls on your heart to come in a relationship, that you answer knowing it won’t be easy. I can’t see my life without Christ and the reward of knowing Him in those dark moments of my life make it worth it. I use to be alone in my troubles, but now that I’m saved I have a Savior who shares in my suffering and gives me strength to live for Him. You can’t abuse His grace, live how you want, repent, and have the cycle start over. What kind of relationship is that?

God is such a loving God, the verse on my phone the other day was Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you…”

Where has your focus been?

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Day 1: A Call to Die by David Nasser

As I started the introduction to this book for the second time, I realized it has only been a year since I last did this 40 day devotional fast by David Nasser. I’ve never went through a book twice, but here we go I guess lol. This book had helped me overcome a lot of darkness in my walk with God, especially when it came to hurt relationships dealing with people. The second time around it is different, it’s about my hurt relationship with God plus some other things I’m struggling with right now. It’s humbling to go back to the basics of Christianity, there’s still so much that God needs to pound into my head and heart. I’ve been complacent, lazy, and too ‘gentle’ with my sin. As Nasser says, Satan is not gentle in dealing with us… so we cannot be gentle in dealing with our sin. Sometimes I think we expect our sin to go away, but how often do we pray for those things that hinder us from God?

The main things I’m hoping God will help me overcome is my want to when reading the Word, intentional prayer time (not praying in my head & then getting distracted), bitterness in my heart towards people, boldness to step out and make friendships with others (can’t disciple people if there is… no people lol), anxiety I’ve been having about my health, and just overall prioritizing my time.

I’m fasting from Facebook since it consumes a lot of my time and let me tell you… it’s not easy. I’ve signed out of the app. on my phone and have caught myself trying to log on twice today (without even thinking about it I was doing this). When I opened up the laptop to type this blog I almost logged into Facebook (again, not intentional, just habit.) It’s really sad how routine I am with logging onto something lol.

Where I put off doing what I’m supposed to and hate dealing with my thoughts… my anxieties… I try to log on a billion apps to consume my time. Where I’ve not been able to get on FB though, I’m on my phone a lot less. I’m kind of ashamed how addicted I am to my phone and the fact I’ve been running from my feelings. I’m only doing this for 40 days, but try giving up something for a week that consumes a lot of your time. You’re going to notice withdraws and be like… “Now what?!”

Something I’d like to share to hopefully help encourage you to get in God’s Word is Isaiah 55:10-11. A lot of us tend to think reading our Bible is a waste of time, but we need renewal. We’re constantly battling against our flesh and we need to put on the armor of God. Nasser says that “God’s word has the power to change lives. If you marinate yourself in the truth of the Scriptures, I’m confident God will do some amazing things in you and through you. Count on it.” God’s promises do not return empty.

“As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire.”

– Isaiah 55:10-11

Drowning out God’s voice.

I just came home from church and decided I would look at Facebook like I normally do and dun dun dunnn… the deep thinking starts. I look at people’s statuses and the way they conduct themselves and it makes me think a lot about life, mainly God. So without explaining myself too much… this is my updated status that I just posted.

“Who you surround yourself with is a large part of who you’ll become. People influence us more than we realize. Being by yourself is okay believe it or not. I get that people don’t like being ‘troubled by their thoughts’, so they are constantly with friends… but you can’t keep running from your problems. You can drown out your thoughts yes, but you may also be drowning out God’s voice. How can He ever speak to you if you’re never alone? Or if you’re never sitting in silence and not distracted by your phone.

Give God time to speak to you, He can heal any pain that your heart may feel. It won’t be easy, but you never grow unless you learn to humble yourself and accept the weakness in your life for what it is.”

God bless you guys and I hope you have an awesome Sunday!

No greater love!

You know how when you have something new, you start noticing  it every where?! It’s amazing how little we pay attention to things unless they’re new to our lives. The same thing happened to me when I accepted Christ as my Savior 6 years ago. I thought to myself, “Why did I never think about God before?” It’s amazing how we never ponder on those thoughts and it might be for a reason… God Himself pressing on our hearts at his choosing (after all the Bible talks about election). Those who are saved are the elect of God, even though when we can easily look around at one another and think… “He chose us?! God probably could have done better!” But you know what, He has his reasons. We’re a fallen people and God in His grace chooses to love us any way. How amazing is God’s love?! Forreal.

It’s unlike any other. Imagine yourself treating someone like complete crap, barely talking to this person and when you do it’s only because you want something or you just need to complain. And let’s not forget to add that you’re never appreciative for anything good they’ve done for you. Yet… get this ladies and gentlemen… they still love you!!! They extend grace and forgiveness to you. God is our father, our parent, and like any good parent He’s going to discipline His children and STILL love them when they screw up. Why? Because He knows what we’re capable of. He knew all of the crap we would do in the future YET still He asks us into a relationship with Him. A love like that can only come from God. If you need to be renewed on this fact as a Christian… well there you have it. You can’t add to God’s love and you can’t take away from it either.

It is SO easy to get legalistic in our walks with Jesus and try to make up for our sin by our guilt or by spending an extra 10 minutes in our Bibles. Ephesians 2:8 says, ” For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (ESV). When you have Christ in your heart you have been SAVED. Meaning… it’s a done deal! Meaning, you can’t add to that. If you’re already saved how much more can you add to that? Nothing. You can’t. When you try to… it’s like saying God didn’t do enough when Jesus died on the cross. It’s been taken care of. I seriously can’t get this Bible verse out of my head (Eph. 2:8). Read that over and over! John Piper says, “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.” When we live for God because we love Him… our attitudes about reading our Bibles change. Our hearts will want to do good. It opens the door for the Holy Spirit to consume you completely – thoughts, actions, spoken words.

His love alone is all you need. It’s compelling. It’s life changing. It’s soul saving. It’s a relationship. It’s a peace you won’t get from anywhere else. It’s a purpose far beyond yourself.

Poem for God.

Do you love me right where I am?

Am I doing enough? Lord I know you already have…

My soul is thirsty, yet I’m reaching for something more.

How long can I drink this until I’m empty and poor?

Pour me out O Lord and fill me with you,

help me desire your love like you’ve told me to.

Testing your grace with my careless sin leaves me with grief…

yet I do it again.

If I depended on my works to save me I wouldn’t know what to do,

but Ephesians 2:8 says there’s nothing I can do.

When you came into my life everything was new,

growing complacent is the last thing I thought I would do…

Your love still amazes me till this very day,

but when temptation comes my faith begins to sway.

I try to buy my way back to you with the guilt of my sin,

and when I think I’ve finally had enough… I do it again.

My sin is ever before me and it’s sometimes too hard to bear,

but Lord your grace is sufficient and I know you won’t leave me there.